Goths

General Info

Goths are interested in various things. They include death, faking suicides/pregnancies, eating bats and babies, teabagging people, gathering to dance badly and laugh at "mundanes", and pillaging public places as well as doing nothing all day, being an ass, and of course wearing stupid outfits.

History

This group of creatures were among the loosely-termed Germanic peoples who disturbed the Roman Empire until its fall, and who inhabited most of the Iberian Peninsula. During the Muslim Conquest of Iberia, when much of the Peninsula came under Islamic rule by 718, the Goths began to settle other lands by a process known as globalisation.When they migrated around the world they were met with great displeasure and they soon formed small, isolated pockets of social groups that interact on a wide-scale basis mainly via internet message boards (known as blogs and internet "journals"). They often worship false gods such as celebrity pre-school teachers Dani Filth and Marilyn Manson.

Interests

Goths seem to subsist on mold and bacterial infections around piercings. The typical female of the species can consume amounts of food equivalent to her own body weight daily, while the male eats less than an average human male child. This accounts for the scrawny appearance of the average goth male and the morbidly bloated look of the average female (but this is "average": some goth women are as thin as the males.)

Feeding Habits

Contrary to popular belief, goths do not drink human blood - only vampires do that. Goths can't be vampires because they don't have fangs. Although many goths have been known to construct fake fangs made entirely out of clay, they seldom work for piercing the skin of humans. Most goths will ignore this and keep pretending to be vampires, but everybody knows that they're not. Their cry can be heard whenever anyone points out that they're just losers with black clothes. Unfortunately, Some idiots actually believe them, and just seem to add to the stupidity.

Habitat

Best conditions are found in a dark room with an internet connection, listening to Evanescence, My Chemical Romance or other upbeat music and a steady supply of eyeliner and purple, red or black hair dye. If you are lucky, you may spot a goth at your local cemetery distributing roses and taking posing on the tombstones of people they don't even know. Often goths are found in their parents' houses, making shitty poetry.

Gothic Chicks

70% are lesbians ; the remaining 30% are bisexual .100% are horny bitches who will sell their bodies for cocaine, heroine, meth, or other miscellaneous drugs. Many goth chicks are obsessed with photography and being photographed and will willingly remove clothing and strip naked in the presence of anyone appearing to take pictures with an expensive camera. For some reason, this is "modelling" and not pornography.Fat Goth chicks are very common because since they are fat they want someone to give them attention, because they know they cant get any. Fat goths make up 45% of the total goth chick population and are most often posers. Many goth chicks also make false claims about them being lesbians; this is also known to get them attention.

Malaysian Goths

Spoilt Kids who live in bungalows with 2 air-conds in their rooms,laptops,own car,a kick ass PC,ipod,PS2,friends,food and all the money they want. They choose to be all "emo" and "gothic" and hate life because their daddies scolded them few times for skipping college or tuition classes.

Nuff Said...

Nothing But Sore Losers who wear black just for fucks ... Haak Pthui!