FAT is the word

So how does it feel to be fat?

I am bloody sure none of you out there would want to answer that question... Why? You will find out in a couple of minutes... Now go on reading...

It all began back in 1995, when I was 9 years old... when I came to realize the pleasure of eating and sleeping after school. Before that, life was all good as running around was not an issue at all. I could run just as fast as other kids, climb trees, jump into drains and climb back up in no time and continue running again.

However... I was putting on around 10kgs a year... growing from a normal kid who nobody noticed into the kid who was called "giant" by the time I was 11 years old. Life was still okay at this time, as my friends were all, well... 11 years old and nobody said anything nasty as they were just genuine kids who were around me for who I was. The adults saw me as "budak sihat, comel, montel, bulat, eee geram, nak cubit, gemok gedempol tendang masuk gol". Being a kid... I didn't see shit coming.

By the time I was 12, running was not in the picture anymore... leave aside climbing trees. The only sports event teachers wanted me to take part in was "Sukaneka" (You know, walking while holding a spoon in your mouth with a ping pong ball on it). Eventually I was hunted down for Tarik Tali.

To be honest, it didn't bother me at all until I noticed one thing: People loved to remind me that I am fat whenever I made a mistake. And...and they somehow made it (they still do it) sound like the reason for me to make mistakes was because I was fat!

For instance:

I miss the school bus one day... My uncle goes "Yea la, take 20 minutes to move from here to the bus stop means how not to miss the bus? "HAHAHAHAHA", the whole family laughed

I screw up my exams... My dad goes "How to do well? Are you doing your homework? *before I could answer*, "Noooooo... I know! All you care about is what to eat at home when you get back! Nah *dush!*"

I answer my aunt who asked me what my ambition was... and she went "Oh! Can ah? All you know is how to eat what!? Not bad not bad... Hahahahaha, everyone laughed...

The above was just part of growing up...

Among the names that people have called me include "Thadiya", "Gunda", "Bob", "Giant", "Overweight", "Guns", "Gemuk","Buncit","Boroi", "10 tonne lori", "Bas Kilang","Bulldozer", "Bagur","Thombu (Oil Drum)","Defender","Chubby","Jiggly Tits", "Elephant Power", "Yerume Maadu", "Panni" and many many more...

I became the benchmark for the most fucked up of things... For instance? Among the things I hear every now and then...

"Aiyo macha... I saw a girl... as big as Gokul dei!"

"Fucker... that fella ate more than you!"

"Eh, if you can fit in, of course I can"

People think twice to sit next to me in the KTM, in the cinema, and many places with limited space... People laugh extra loud when I fall down... People laugh and go "Are you serious?" when I tell them that I was actually playing hockey for my school...

And trust me... these are only the few things that popped up my mind for now. Obviously, it is myself whom I blame for being obese. Why can't I be fat? I just love to eat... Its my fucking mouth, my fucking money, my fucking stomache... So what If I'm gonna die early? Who the fuck are y'all to decide how an ideal human being should look like? At least us fat ones have got the balls to be ourselves... yup... the fatsos!

Remember... ask yourselves this question the next time you are amused or shocked by the existence of an extremely obese person near you...

"So what if he/she is fat?"
"Is he eating my food?"
"Is he eating from my money?"

You laugh more when a fat lady falls down, you stare cock at a fat man who sits in front of you in the train, you make jokes about fat people, you call fat people "pigs", you think you are better just because you are smaller... why? Y'all have no idea how it feels to be slapped by an obese person do you?

AND IN THE MIDDLE OF AAAAAALLLL THIS. . .

There's this bunch of people... about 50,60 kilos... whining about how they look fat, how they can't fit in their jeans anymore, how their nose looks round, how they feel fat, uuh aah... I'm fat I'm fat I'm fat... I put on 2 kilos, My red bikini doesn't fit me anymore. OMG OMG OMG...

*Bangs head on keyboard*


alksdjalksakgjklrgergfsfjsjkgherjklghejrgnermkvne

Pondans and Newspapers

Are you someone who can't live without reading the newspaper?

Lol... Read this, you'll stop wasting a dollar everyday


A local newspaper reports:

"Transvestite may face action if he returns" (edited by Swami Ji)

A Malaysian transsexual, who married a 30-year-old man in Britain, MAY face action when he comes back IF he has been found to have violated immigration laws.

Some Malaysian Immigration Department big-shot said they could not take action against the pondan as long as he remained in Britain but would investigate the case if he was deported home.

However, he declined to speculate if an offence had actually been committed... (???)

Britain’s Immigration big-shot was reported as saying that the pondan had entered Britain as a visitor and the rules clearly stated that a visitor must leave the UK within six months but may reapply for a new visa from their country of origin. (The only paragraph that made sense in the whole story... and it was exctracted from a newspaper in London... lol)

The Malaysian immigration big-shot, however, said that the department could only act if there was a violation of Immigration laws and anything other than that was out of its jurisdiction. (cantek)

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Has he returned? Nope

Has he violated any Malaysian Immigration laws? No Idea

When can we know if he has violated Malaysian Immigration laws? When he comes back

Is he coming back? No Idea

So when is the right time for the Malaysian Immigration to say something?? When he comes back

But why are they barking now? Journalists ask

Case Closed :)

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Chill... Its not over yet... There are other follow-up stories and articles in other publications as well!

These are what I saw so far... and what I feel...

A story on how the pondan is worried about his safety after getting negative reaction from Malaysians over his marriage.

(Err... yea whatever)

A story on the pondan's family pleading him to come home, how much they love him and how they have forgiven him.

(*Banging head on keyboard* jkfhsdjfhsfjsdjfh)

An article on how the pondan has the right to be happy, how she is facing a rough patch as she is facing deportation back to Malaysia...

(OH! So now its a SHE! Aawwwww... *This was a lifestyle story by the way* lol)

A story on how pondans are whining about the heavy load of paperwork involved in changing their gender.

(Is there ANY Malaysian government related procedure that requires filling up only 1,2 sheets of paper?)

A story on an MP in Kulim saying that our pondan should not fear coming back home

(Masuuuuuuuk!!! :P)

An article explaining that the pondan will only face action under the Syariah law should he return and re-register his marriage here

( Kadavule. . .)

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

The million dollar question:

What in the blue fucking hell is happening to newspapers????

The million dollar answer:

They've been hiring :P

Jimi Hendrix is dead? Fuck You

Show me another artist in the current era who can do this if you want me to stop glorifying Jimi...

:)

Greatest Quotes by Bob Marley

"Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!"

"The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow"

"Bob Marley isn't my name. I don't even know my name yet"

"I don't stand for the black man's side, I don' t stand for the white man's side.I stand for God's side."

"Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black, white, Chinese, everyone - that's all."

"Don´t forget your history nor your destiny."

"Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen."

"Just can't live that negative way...make way for the positive day."

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."

"When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself"

"Life and Jah are one in the same. Jah is the gift of existence. I am in some way eternal, I will never be duplicated."

"I have got a running stream of love you see. So no matter what stages.. they put us through, we'll never be blue."

"My music fights against the system that teaches to live and die."

"Rastafari not a culture, it's a reality. "

"Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction."

"I'm a man of God and me come to do God's work."

"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold... "

"Most people think Great God will come from the sky."

"If I was educated, I`d be a damn fool."

"I want to say 'I shot the police' but the government would have made a fuss so I said 'I shot the sheriff' instead... but it's the same idea: justice."

"Better to die fighting for freedom then be a prisoner all the days of your life."

"The biggest man you ever did see was once a baby"

"If you get down and quarrel everyday, you’re saying prayers to the devil, I say."

"Is the foolish dog, bark at the flying bird."

"The more people smoke herb, the more Babylon fall. "

" Your worst enemy could be your best friend, and your best friend your worst enemy."

"Me never believe in marriage that much...marriage is a trap to control me; woman is a coward. Man strong "

"How much do you smoke? Plenty "

"Reggae is a music that has plenty fight. But only the music should fight, not the people. "

"Yuh see, I personally know my heart can be hard as a stone, and yet soft as water"

"Herb is the unifier of the people. "

"And me, I know that there is a god. Cause I know who god is. "

"Sayin' lets get together and feel alright! "



One Love... Jah Rastafari

I Surrender

ASATHOMA SATH GAMAYA
THAMASOMA JYOTHIR GAMAYA
MRUTHYORMA AMRUTHAM GAMAYA
OHM SANTHI SANTHI SANTHI

Dear God, I hereby humbly, with deepest regrets, surrender to you... As I, shadowed by my ego, chose to believe that, with the power of intellect and wisdom, can discover the path towards the light. Despite not being evil, envious, stingy, selfish, I AM still lost...

Therefore, Here I am, out of tears...kneeling... at Your feet...

Take me... show me the path...

From Untruth to Truth
From Darkness to Light
From Death to Immortality
As I am not asking for anything more than to be blessed with nothing but Peace, Peace, Peace...

What the hell is wrong with the Bintang?

OK... Just like millions and millions of Malaysians out there, I depend on the Bintang daily to know what's happening in the country and also the world, as I feel that they are way better compared to other dailies around.

News articles were informative, straight to the point, had credibility, and the news were actually relevant; the kind of news you and me would give a fuck about.

However, I don't know what the fuck went wrong along the way... the amount of crappy news is slowly, but surely increasing. Not like there are no issues or relevant events to be covered. At least blow up some pictures and fill up the pages la... that seems to be the secret of success for many world class tabloids out there now.

Why am I saying that they're getting crappier?

These are some of the mindblowing stories that appeared in the duration of four days:

Bintang says:

"Kidnapped businessman 'Bangsar Shan' who happens to be an extortionist himself, is believed to be dead".

Swami-Ji says:

Who the fuck is Bangsar Shan? and Who the fuck cares?

Bintang says:

"Tug-of-love son not coming back for Raya"

"X's" hopes of seeing her six-year-old son, who was whisked away by his father six months ago, during Hari Raya were dashed when her husband expressed that there was “no way” he would return him.The 34-year-old teacher said she was very upset that computer programmer "Y", was adamant on not bringing back "Z" to Malaysia even when told he had defied a court order.

Swami Ji says:

Do I look like I give a shit? I have my own family to worry about la...

Bintang says:

"A KINDERGARTEN teacher who took her feverish pet squirrel to the veterinary clinic had her breasts allegedly groped by the veterinarian instead, reported another world class press. According to the world class daily, the veterinarian had asked the 27-year old woman to place the squirrel inside her blouse to keep it warm given its “erratic body temperature”.

The veterinarian, the report said, saw the woman’s breasts while helping her remove the squirrel and started praising her figure. He then allegedly told the victim to take care of her body and “beautiful breasts”.

The squirrel died shortly after returning home.

Swami Ji says:

VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT LA NOW



-ends-

Children oh Children

As usual, I was in Facebook, saw few photo updates of few people in my list... and of course some pathetic status updates. Among the photos I saw were pictures of graduation ceremonies, outing with boyfriend, vacation, clubbing outings, and basically what has been happening in their lives... which diverted my thoughts towards few people whom I know ... and their lives... which led to a 'compare and contrast' with my own life... which led to this...

I have many friends...who can be divided into two groups. The first group consists of friends whose lives are basically outlined, drafted and managed by the parents(filthy rich of course) since day 1. They were born, they grew up, went to kindergarten, primary school, high school and entered college. By the time these friends of mine went to high school their parents already mindfucked them saying that "you're becoming a doctor"/"you're becoming a lawyer"/"Be an engineer or kill yourself"... Poor kids, what could they do? They grew up with the thought that they are becoming a lawyer/doctor PROGRAMMED in their heads.

So they finished high school, did whatever the parents wanted them to do, did their pre-U and went abroad, finished their studies and came back. Some are still doing their final few semesters abroad. Some of them are in a steady relationship. Their parents know about them. Some already started taking over their parents' businesses. Some are waiting to come back from abroad and take charge.

Part of me can't help it but to be envious of these people. They've got their paths well constructed in front of them. All they have to do is just pop-out and walk till the end. Everything has been pre-planned for them. What worries do they have? what worries did they have? the only thing they had to do was do well in their education. Some even fucked that up. What happened? parents shouted for few days, pumped in some money and rescued these pampered asses.

After few years, all these doctors and engineers and lawyers are going to come back, and probably take over their parents' businesses or most likely open up their own firms, LEECH on their parents' contacts, establish a good social and business network, come up and let themselves be known, and continue making more money.

The second group consists of friends who just took whatever they wanted. They were born, they grew up, they went to kindergarden and THATS IT!

"Daddy I want those shoes!"
"Here you go, my beloved child"
"Daddy I want the remote control car"
"Here son... have fun... I love you and I want you to be happy in life... I never had all these"
"Daddy I want the Guess Bag"
"Here darlin, the bag you asked"
"Daddy I only wanna go to College X and do Psychology!"
"No problems honey... can be done"
"I only wanna study in Australia... nowhere else!"
"Ok...Ok... dont worry... I will send you son..."
"Dad I wanna go clubbing, gimme RM500"
"Here you go sayang, have a great time... take care of yourself"
"Daddy I have a boyfriend..."
"As long as you're happy dear"
"Daddy I'm pregnant"
"Don't worry... we can solve this problem"
"Daddy I want a car"
"Here's a VIOS, son... enjoy"
"Dad I was drunk, I crashed the car"
"No worries son, I'll get you an Altis"
"I need to live nearer to office pa"
"Here's a house son... I hope you like it"
"Pa this is Nina, she is nice to me... she can't cook, she is an egocentric bitch, she's not gonna be worth a single cent, she's not gonna be nice to y'all, but fuck it, I am getting married...

nope... the parents' say doesn't matter after this in life...

after 20 years...

"Your mom's not feeling very well... I'm also sick you see... Do you think you can cancel your trip to Melbourne and stay with her here... we need someone to take care of her... er... what say you?"

We shall wait and see whether you para pundes will be worth ALL THE MONEY THEY THREW all the while ;) NOPE, getting an Indonesian maid doesn't count...

Talked too much cock didn't I? :P

Fuck y'all... I just saved 500 bucks from my pay and gave it to my mother...

A Haunted Pen & The Twisted Mind

I have a pen which has a mind of its own...

I took it, twisted it, in order to write a story... This is what the pen made me write

I have a pen to write
I have a pen to correct
I have a pen to sign
I have a pen t save me when I don't have a pen
When that pen dies?
I borrow another pen
I am crazy, I know...
But hey, it is kinda fun to be crazy
It feels like I'm sitting on the telephone line alongside the birds,
Overlooking all the things that are happening down here...
Guess what?
The birds are actually laughing at human beings... they go "Dude, these creatures are more pathetic the ape that scratched its own arse, sniffed it and fainted"
Why do you think the birds only poop on humans and not cows, donkeys, rats, dogs or cats?
They feel that human beings are so fucked up that they are just as shitty as a toilet...
And then couple of aliens decide to stop by to see whats going on...
"The fuck are you doin here with them birdies?" they asked me...
I told them the truth... I said that I don't know how I ended up here... and that I am the mind and I will return to my body in awhile... and asked em what they were doing here...
The alien said they dropped by to have a good laugh as they were stressed... They said that humans are a fucking joke... which is why they don't wanna invade earth... before leaving, this is what the alien said:

"Lemme tell you a secret... Earth is also known as THE FUCKED UP Planet in the galaxy hahahaha... you humans are so fucked up y'all are fighting over black and white... Nigga I'm purple!! I'm gettin the fuck outta here!"

After writing this, the pen made me draw itself... and it just dropped... All this happened in the duration of like 5 minutes...

I'm scared now... damn...

The Indian Cow [ CLICK ON PICTURE TO HAVE A BETTER VIEW]

Karangan UPSR Terbaek di Dunia!

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.

Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit “Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting

Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit “Adoi..!” dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

Running out of stories?

Referring to an article in Malay Mail front page last week which went:

"AirAsia taken to task over NFL deal"

While local sports bodies beg for money, airline sponsors American football team

CHARITY, they say, begins at home. This, apparently does not apply to Malaysia's low budget carrier AirAsia. While its support for local sports has been largely in the form of discounted flights, the carrier is about to splash out millions in cash to an American football team in a major deal to be announced tomorrow.

Baffling is why AirAsia is even pursuing this deal - it doesn't even fly to the US and yet, is doling out cash for a sport with hardly a following in Malaysia.

Equally puzzling is how the no frills airline, which had its early success from strong Malaysian support to see a local airline make a global name, can afford to splash extravagant amounts when it owes Malaysia Airports Holdings Bhd (MAHB) RM65 million in airport tax.

AirAsia even admitted that it was withholding the payment unless MAHB lowered the airport charges!

Malay Mail, Thursday, June 25th, 2009 08:32:00

___________________________________________________________________________________

Swami Ji says:

Hmmmm, lets see...

Fair enough, an issue indeed...

but lets look at it from a businessman's point of view... If you are an entrepreneur and you are to invest millions in an advertising deal (you also need to settle hutang with MAHB), where will you pump in your money? In NFL, which has an enormous turnover? or will you choose to put your money on one of our extraordinarily talented local football clubs?

I mean, I'll leave the judging to you people... y'all compare the quality of local sports and international sports, put yourselves in AirAsia's place, and think about it...

OK lah, fuck it... If you feel that it is still wrong for AirAsia to do this as it is unfair towards local sports, and they deserve to be "slammed", I understand...

BUT

We have to be fair rite...If you are to question AirAsia's action, what about Proton which was sponsoring Norwich City? EPL Might be a massive hit in Malaysia compared to the NFL but bare in mind, the EPL doesn't contribute shit to our economy... and not like Air Asia didn't support FAM at all, the same news article above mentioned that they did give certain amount of financial support. Just like Proton lah... How come Proton didn't make it to the newspapers? Are they that bloody succesful?

I mean, why waste time questioning a private company when a government company itself wanna pancing in the UK?

In all,

Bila logo Proton keluar kat EPL, semua orang bangga... bila Air Asia punya logo keluar kat NFL, bengang la pulak... Macam mana ni?


Ini pro local sports ka Anti America? :P


p/s: I still love you Jon! muaks... lol

Indians = Morons... Really... Major league Morons

What you see above, is a picture taken from this forwarded email that has been terrorizing the tech-savvy Indian community lately, titled Muar Kali. Its about this Kali temple in Muar which practices sacrificing goats (offerings in the name of being grateful to goddess Kali). Point of the matter? They offer goats. How do they do it? They chop-off the goat's head in the middle of the temple, and those who are under a state of trance have fun with the blood and the headless goat...In the name of God and religious beliefs... Its brutal la basically...

If you're wondering why they do it, what religion has to do with such practice, and all that, you're not gonna find your answers here as I humbly admit that I am no religious expert.

BUT...

What I'm pissed-off about is... the amount of angry, nasty, negative remarks this email received. And they were all from Indians! Hundreds of em! all saying things like this is Barbarism, primitive, stupid, god didn't ask to do this, yada yada bla bla (u know how enthusiastic and passionate Indians will become when they have something to complain about don't ya? :P)

What I'm saying is... idiots... Tutup satu mata, jalan la... Just ignore this...Did anyone ask for your pathetic two-cents about this practice? They were minding their own business, bathing in blood, biting some goats, praying, doing whatever they wanted to, not bothering or disturbing any one of you urbanized half-boiled idiots who think that y'all know everything.

What do y'all do? snap pictures, send it around, laugh at your own people, ask others to laugh at your people, and be happy that everyone is laughing at this... Did it EVER strike your minds, that at the end of the day, they are Indians as well? they're our people as well? If you yourselves laugh at all this, you think others are gonna give a shit? Bare in mind, different people have different beliefs, different faith... Who the fuck are y'all to question and criticize whatever they're practicing? God paid you a visit and told you what is the right thing to do and what is not?? Fuck you

And it will be you same idiots who will be creating one hell of a scene if the temple gets demolished... Why the hypocrisy? right or wrong, they are not harming anyone are they? Unless you're a goat welfare activist...

Where is the sense of unity?????? Stupid bastards... learn to tolerate, give and take and live together among yourselves first... after that we can go demanding for other rights... Regardless of right or wrong... We need to be together in order to achieve something... You laugh at your own people, and call yourself an Indian??

Imagine... if the government decides to demolish this temple... turns back and asks you this... "You're own people are against this idea... Why can't we demolish this temple? you want evidence that people are against this? all they have to do is just show the emails and blog posts you geniuses posted. They will just run it down in the name of doing what the RAKYAT wants... who will you blame if that happens??????

All y'all are good at is to talk cock and act like y'all know everything...


To every single one of you who said nasty things about this Muar Kali practice... Don't call yourselves Indians... y'all are best described by the word SNAKES :P


Don't be angry at me now... think about it...

Just for laughs

Excellent stuff that will make your day... Have fun :)

“Yes. Yes it is. Please stop yelling.”

~ Sparta on Leonidas

“This place freaking scares me, like shitting bricks kind of scare.”

~ God on SPARTAAAAAA!!!.

“Actually, it's 20 miles south of here and behind a Wal-Mart on 21st street.”

~ A smartass on where Sparta is located.

“Sparta is in Greece.”

~ Captain Obvious on Sparta

“THIS IS SPARTA, YOU SMARTASS! WE ARE ALREADY BEHIND THE WAL-MART! NOW BACK TO WHAT I DO BEST, KICKING PEOPLE INTO PITS OF DOOM!!!!!!”

~ King Leonidas on kicking that smartass into his portable pit of doom!!!

“This is SPARTAAAAAA!!!”

~ Leonidas on the Haters

“This is PERSIAAAAAA!!!”

~ Xerxes on Leonidas

“NO, THIS IS PATRICKKKKKK!!!”

~ Patrick Star on Leonidas and Xerxes

“Patrick thats the name of the coutries in 300.”

~ Spongebob Squarepants on Patrick Star

“FISH PASTEEEEEE!!!”

~ Patrick Star on his mistake

Source: Uncyclopedia.com

Sky is the Limit!

I opened the newspaper today, and saw this...

The sky’s the limit for Malacca’s Mat Rempit

MALACCA: The state has issued a challenge to youth nationwide especially Mat Rempit to take to the skies in a micro-light aircraft.

To make good the challenge, the state via Tabung Yayasan Melaka, is offering RM6,000 loans to those interested in obtaining their micro-light aircraft pilot licence here with the 4B Youth Movement flying club based in Sungai Rambai, Jasin.

“I hope the Mat Rempit will take up the offer and learn how to fly an aircraft instead of racing illegally on the roads and getting themselves killed,” Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohd Ali Rustam said when opening the Malacca Air Carnival yesterday.

Bare in mind:

That they are offering micro-light aircraft flying courses to bloody mangga pundes who didn't even get thru PMR. Leave SPM alone. I would also like to remind y'all that I am not against the Rempits. It is this BRILLIANT idea that I am interested in criticizing.

OK Lah... Fair enough...

Lets say if the Mat Rempits show good response to this programme, what's next?

At the moment only buildings are collapsing here and there. Thanks to this programme, we will have planes crashing in the middle of KL, and maybe we can see an increase in flight hijack cases. Why? You don't know how the human mind works after some dosage of "Performance enhancers" do you? Haa... Apa itu performance enhancer? pegi interview Mat rempit... India Melayu Cina semua pun ada guna.

Swami Ji says:

Of all the things in the world... Flying course???? Are these dumbfucks over-qualified to be normal labourers? Basically this is the story... You go to school for the sake of going, passing exams is optional aight? Just become a Mat Rempit and terrorize the neighborhood for awhile, establish your portfolio by collecting winnings and recognition, go to federal government and say that you are interested in taking up the flying course. Voila!~ You're a pilot!!!

Why wanna suffer, work hard, score, waste money, energy, etc etc... at the end of the day, its useless...

Kasi halau itu Indon sama Bangla balik, kasi ini Rempit kerja sapu jalan ka, kontrak ka, cuci jamban ka apa la... Naik motor sapu la...lagi chun... they can even have "Laju, Bersih, Best!" as their tag-line and inspire other upcoming Rempit champions.

If useless, stupid assholes like the Mat Rempits can get an opportunity to be pilots. . .

WHAT THE FUCK ARE QUALIFIED, PASSIONATE, ENTHUSIASTIC, JOBLESS PEOPLE OUT THERE GONNA DO????

apa lagi? join geng Rempit la... kerja suda guarantee ma? ;)

The Influence

Sober, I'm chained to the ground...
Under the influence, I soar like a bird...

Sober, I see others...
Under the Influence, I am alone...

Sober, I'm happy...
Under the influence, I am in bliss...

Sober, I eat...
Under the influence, I feast...

Sober, I want...
Under the influence, I crave...

Sober, I fuck...
Under the influence, I discover...

Sober, I drive...
Under the influence, I go on a journey...

Sober, I listen to a song...
Under the influence, I let music flow through me...

Sober, I refer...
Under the influence, ideas find me...

Sober, I refer to time...
Under the influence, I travel through time...

Sober, I brainstorm...
Under the influence, I experience a storm in my brain...

Sober, I talk...
Under the influence, I enlighten...

Sober, I read...
Under the influence, I visualise...

Sober, I wonder...
Under the influence, I know...

Sober, I walk along the line...
Under the influence, I stand out...

Sober, I miss while my eyes are open...
Under the influence, I see details while my eyes are shut...

Sober, I sympathise the blind...
Under the influence, I see the colours a blind man sees...

Sober, I wonder where is the love to be found...
Under the influence, I spread love...

Sober, I write...

When I'm under the influence?

Haha...


I express...

Ridiculous Thoughts

I wish I knew how to make music, so that I'll be able to make a solid depressing tune...

I wish I knew how to dance, so that I'll be able to dance for the tune till my feet bled...

I wish I knew how to paint, so that I can use the blood on the floor to paint a portrait of myself smiling, when I was three...

I wish I had access to an acid trip, so that I can leave myself and bring the three year old boy back to life...

I wish I had the power to go back time...

To stop myself from seeing what I've seen...

To stop myself from going through all the lessons I've been through...

To stop myself from forgetting how to hope, to believe and to have faith...

To tell myself that the grass was not even green in the first place...

Because all that I want is what I had before... I never wanted nor needed more...

Its funny...

How I can relate to so many people who are millions of miles away, but not even a single soul around me...

How an abstract element can have more emotions than human beings...

How I can still make people believe that what they're looking at is what they are seeing...

I know that I am slowly losing my sight... but heck, what is there to be seen anyway?

In all,

I set myself free only to realize that everyone else are still trapped. . .

Fuck it, I'm done pretending...