Children oh Children

As usual, I was in Facebook, saw few photo updates of few people in my list... and of course some pathetic status updates. Among the photos I saw were pictures of graduation ceremonies, outing with boyfriend, vacation, clubbing outings, and basically what has been happening in their lives... which diverted my thoughts towards few people whom I know ... and their lives... which led to a 'compare and contrast' with my own life... which led to this...

I have many friends...who can be divided into two groups. The first group consists of friends whose lives are basically outlined, drafted and managed by the parents(filthy rich of course) since day 1. They were born, they grew up, went to kindergarten, primary school, high school and entered college. By the time these friends of mine went to high school their parents already mindfucked them saying that "you're becoming a doctor"/"you're becoming a lawyer"/"Be an engineer or kill yourself"... Poor kids, what could they do? They grew up with the thought that they are becoming a lawyer/doctor PROGRAMMED in their heads.

So they finished high school, did whatever the parents wanted them to do, did their pre-U and went abroad, finished their studies and came back. Some are still doing their final few semesters abroad. Some of them are in a steady relationship. Their parents know about them. Some already started taking over their parents' businesses. Some are waiting to come back from abroad and take charge.

Part of me can't help it but to be envious of these people. They've got their paths well constructed in front of them. All they have to do is just pop-out and walk till the end. Everything has been pre-planned for them. What worries do they have? what worries did they have? the only thing they had to do was do well in their education. Some even fucked that up. What happened? parents shouted for few days, pumped in some money and rescued these pampered asses.

After few years, all these doctors and engineers and lawyers are going to come back, and probably take over their parents' businesses or most likely open up their own firms, LEECH on their parents' contacts, establish a good social and business network, come up and let themselves be known, and continue making more money.

The second group consists of friends who just took whatever they wanted. They were born, they grew up, they went to kindergarden and THATS IT!

"Daddy I want those shoes!"
"Here you go, my beloved child"
"Daddy I want the remote control car"
"Here son... have fun... I love you and I want you to be happy in life... I never had all these"
"Daddy I want the Guess Bag"
"Here darlin, the bag you asked"
"Daddy I only wanna go to College X and do Psychology!"
"No problems honey... can be done"
"I only wanna study in Australia... nowhere else!"
"Ok...Ok... dont worry... I will send you son..."
"Dad I wanna go clubbing, gimme RM500"
"Here you go sayang, have a great time... take care of yourself"
"Daddy I have a boyfriend..."
"As long as you're happy dear"
"Daddy I'm pregnant"
"Don't worry... we can solve this problem"
"Daddy I want a car"
"Here's a VIOS, son... enjoy"
"Dad I was drunk, I crashed the car"
"No worries son, I'll get you an Altis"
"I need to live nearer to office pa"
"Here's a house son... I hope you like it"
"Pa this is Nina, she is nice to me... she can't cook, she is an egocentric bitch, she's not gonna be worth a single cent, she's not gonna be nice to y'all, but fuck it, I am getting married...

nope... the parents' say doesn't matter after this in life...

after 20 years...

"Your mom's not feeling very well... I'm also sick you see... Do you think you can cancel your trip to Melbourne and stay with her here... we need someone to take care of her... er... what say you?"

We shall wait and see whether you para pundes will be worth ALL THE MONEY THEY THREW all the while ;) NOPE, getting an Indonesian maid doesn't count...

Talked too much cock didn't I? :P

Fuck y'all... I just saved 500 bucks from my pay and gave it to my mother...

A Haunted Pen & The Twisted Mind

I have a pen which has a mind of its own...

I took it, twisted it, in order to write a story... This is what the pen made me write

I have a pen to write
I have a pen to correct
I have a pen to sign
I have a pen t save me when I don't have a pen
When that pen dies?
I borrow another pen
I am crazy, I know...
But hey, it is kinda fun to be crazy
It feels like I'm sitting on the telephone line alongside the birds,
Overlooking all the things that are happening down here...
Guess what?
The birds are actually laughing at human beings... they go "Dude, these creatures are more pathetic the ape that scratched its own arse, sniffed it and fainted"
Why do you think the birds only poop on humans and not cows, donkeys, rats, dogs or cats?
They feel that human beings are so fucked up that they are just as shitty as a toilet...
And then couple of aliens decide to stop by to see whats going on...
"The fuck are you doin here with them birdies?" they asked me...
I told them the truth... I said that I don't know how I ended up here... and that I am the mind and I will return to my body in awhile... and asked em what they were doing here...
The alien said they dropped by to have a good laugh as they were stressed... They said that humans are a fucking joke... which is why they don't wanna invade earth... before leaving, this is what the alien said:

"Lemme tell you a secret... Earth is also known as THE FUCKED UP Planet in the galaxy hahahaha... you humans are so fucked up y'all are fighting over black and white... Nigga I'm purple!! I'm gettin the fuck outta here!"

After writing this, the pen made me draw itself... and it just dropped... All this happened in the duration of like 5 minutes...

I'm scared now... damn...

The Indian Cow [ CLICK ON PICTURE TO HAVE A BETTER VIEW]

Karangan UPSR Terbaek di Dunia!

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.

Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit “Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting

Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit “Adoi..!” dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

Running out of stories?

Referring to an article in Malay Mail front page last week which went:

"AirAsia taken to task over NFL deal"

While local sports bodies beg for money, airline sponsors American football team

CHARITY, they say, begins at home. This, apparently does not apply to Malaysia's low budget carrier AirAsia. While its support for local sports has been largely in the form of discounted flights, the carrier is about to splash out millions in cash to an American football team in a major deal to be announced tomorrow.

Baffling is why AirAsia is even pursuing this deal - it doesn't even fly to the US and yet, is doling out cash for a sport with hardly a following in Malaysia.

Equally puzzling is how the no frills airline, which had its early success from strong Malaysian support to see a local airline make a global name, can afford to splash extravagant amounts when it owes Malaysia Airports Holdings Bhd (MAHB) RM65 million in airport tax.

AirAsia even admitted that it was withholding the payment unless MAHB lowered the airport charges!

Malay Mail, Thursday, June 25th, 2009 08:32:00

___________________________________________________________________________________

Swami Ji says:

Hmmmm, lets see...

Fair enough, an issue indeed...

but lets look at it from a businessman's point of view... If you are an entrepreneur and you are to invest millions in an advertising deal (you also need to settle hutang with MAHB), where will you pump in your money? In NFL, which has an enormous turnover? or will you choose to put your money on one of our extraordinarily talented local football clubs?

I mean, I'll leave the judging to you people... y'all compare the quality of local sports and international sports, put yourselves in AirAsia's place, and think about it...

OK lah, fuck it... If you feel that it is still wrong for AirAsia to do this as it is unfair towards local sports, and they deserve to be "slammed", I understand...

BUT

We have to be fair rite...If you are to question AirAsia's action, what about Proton which was sponsoring Norwich City? EPL Might be a massive hit in Malaysia compared to the NFL but bare in mind, the EPL doesn't contribute shit to our economy... and not like Air Asia didn't support FAM at all, the same news article above mentioned that they did give certain amount of financial support. Just like Proton lah... How come Proton didn't make it to the newspapers? Are they that bloody succesful?

I mean, why waste time questioning a private company when a government company itself wanna pancing in the UK?

In all,

Bila logo Proton keluar kat EPL, semua orang bangga... bila Air Asia punya logo keluar kat NFL, bengang la pulak... Macam mana ni?


Ini pro local sports ka Anti America? :P


p/s: I still love you Jon! muaks... lol

Indians = Morons... Really... Major league Morons

What you see above, is a picture taken from this forwarded email that has been terrorizing the tech-savvy Indian community lately, titled Muar Kali. Its about this Kali temple in Muar which practices sacrificing goats (offerings in the name of being grateful to goddess Kali). Point of the matter? They offer goats. How do they do it? They chop-off the goat's head in the middle of the temple, and those who are under a state of trance have fun with the blood and the headless goat...In the name of God and religious beliefs... Its brutal la basically...

If you're wondering why they do it, what religion has to do with such practice, and all that, you're not gonna find your answers here as I humbly admit that I am no religious expert.

BUT...

What I'm pissed-off about is... the amount of angry, nasty, negative remarks this email received. And they were all from Indians! Hundreds of em! all saying things like this is Barbarism, primitive, stupid, god didn't ask to do this, yada yada bla bla (u know how enthusiastic and passionate Indians will become when they have something to complain about don't ya? :P)

What I'm saying is... idiots... Tutup satu mata, jalan la... Just ignore this...Did anyone ask for your pathetic two-cents about this practice? They were minding their own business, bathing in blood, biting some goats, praying, doing whatever they wanted to, not bothering or disturbing any one of you urbanized half-boiled idiots who think that y'all know everything.

What do y'all do? snap pictures, send it around, laugh at your own people, ask others to laugh at your people, and be happy that everyone is laughing at this... Did it EVER strike your minds, that at the end of the day, they are Indians as well? they're our people as well? If you yourselves laugh at all this, you think others are gonna give a shit? Bare in mind, different people have different beliefs, different faith... Who the fuck are y'all to question and criticize whatever they're practicing? God paid you a visit and told you what is the right thing to do and what is not?? Fuck you

And it will be you same idiots who will be creating one hell of a scene if the temple gets demolished... Why the hypocrisy? right or wrong, they are not harming anyone are they? Unless you're a goat welfare activist...

Where is the sense of unity?????? Stupid bastards... learn to tolerate, give and take and live together among yourselves first... after that we can go demanding for other rights... Regardless of right or wrong... We need to be together in order to achieve something... You laugh at your own people, and call yourself an Indian??

Imagine... if the government decides to demolish this temple... turns back and asks you this... "You're own people are against this idea... Why can't we demolish this temple? you want evidence that people are against this? all they have to do is just show the emails and blog posts you geniuses posted. They will just run it down in the name of doing what the RAKYAT wants... who will you blame if that happens??????

All y'all are good at is to talk cock and act like y'all know everything...


To every single one of you who said nasty things about this Muar Kali practice... Don't call yourselves Indians... y'all are best described by the word SNAKES :P


Don't be angry at me now... think about it...

Just for laughs

Excellent stuff that will make your day... Have fun :)

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